alone again, naturally

My Own Private Idaho (1991) is a story about two individuals, Mike and Scott, who experience and cope with loneliness differently. With two plots integrated into a single film, we see how one profession affects both boys in drastic ways.

Mike Waters, a street hustler portrayed by River Phoenix, comes from a low social class. Because of this, he has no choice, but to turn to male prostitution as his sole mean of survival. Scott Favor, on the other hand, is motivated by something more. He only engages in prostitution to both embarrass and catch his father’s attention. Because his father is mayor, he could easily walk away from this lifestyle. He could quit anytime and still be secure in his wealth and worldly connections. Throughout the film, we see how loneliness affects both individuals. However, in the end, one feels lonelier than the other.

It was like the film was made for us to empathize with Mike. At the beginning and end of the film, Mike is alone, on an open road, left to fend for himself and his narcoleptic episodes. He has no one, but himself. Through his narcolepsy, he finds peace in his mother. It is as if his dreams are childhood home movies on a loop. When he sets out to find his mother, he is only met with disappointment. He also constantly tries to reach out to Scott for reciprocity of love and affection, but Scott ends up leaving him for an Italian woman. Although Scott cares for Mike enough to travel with him to Italy to find his mother, he instantly abandons him for a woman he just met. Throughout the film, especially in the campfire scene, when Mike admits to Scott he loves him, we see how Mike is just longing to be loved by someone and how Scott is not willing to reciprocate that love. He tried to find love, from both mother and Scott, but he ended up feeling more alone than ever. At the end of the day, he is just a sweet boy who suffered the consequences of a bad childhood.

Scott, on the other hand, is lonely in a sense that he has to engage in prostitution to get his father’s attention. It is obvious he cares for Mike, but not enough to love him back. As he starts a relationship with Carmella, I cannot help but feel a sense of betrayal in his friendship with Mike. It was cruel of him to give Mike a taste of what it feels like to be cared for, but suddenly leave him hanging. When he came back to the United States, he did not even acknowledge Mike outside the restaurant. It was as if he was just another hustler on the street – not someone he built a friendship with. It was probably better for Scott to start living life in accordance to his rich lifestyle, but how I wish he would have taken Mike with him. Mike would have been able to turn his life around, and maybe even been able to seek professional help for his narcolepsy. In the end, we can see how Scott treated his friendship with Mike as temporary, while Mike saw it as permanent.

This sad film reminded me of Trainspotting (1996). Its cinematography, color grading, and even choice of wardrobe is similar to Danny Boyle’s British comedy. There was also a similarity between Mark Renton and Mike. Both were stuck to deal with their own vices – heroin and male prostitution. However, the difference lies in their endings. Mark was able to find peace and “chose life”, while Mike was left to live life alone.

Personally, My Own Private Idaho is something I would not watch again. The first few scenes bored me. There was too much dialogue and not enough action. However, I do understand why some like it more than others. The film showcased a woeful and isolated side of humanity. It becomes even more humane when you realize some scenes had stories told by real life hustlers. It makes you come to the conclusion that what Mike goes through is something others have to experience in order to survive. It shows you how lonely one can be and what he or she will do to experience love.