I can’t even begin to talk about this film. It made me feel all sorts of uneasy and horrified and as an end result it gave me the conviction to never touch any hard drug ever.
Perhaps I’ll start with the opening sequence itself and its tone-setting recklessness. That one scene of Mark and his friends running from who knows what, coupled with his monologue of choosing what seems like the mundane or the stable, made me anticipate more of that tension, and the film did not fail to deliver. I felt its sustained thrill as the movie progressed. A lot of times, I was just so absorbed by the tone and the pace of the movie, which often left me slack-jawed in how visceral it all was. See: that one scene in the Worst Toilet in Scotland. See: that scene with Allison screaming and the slow yet nonetheless dreadful reveal of why. But even when it shifted its direction, slowing down and showing the characters at their most vulnerable, I still felt the palpable tension and the traces of uneasiness, much like how I imagine it would feel like to be on the last few moments of one’s high.
Secondly, I found it confusing that I felt thoroughly sorry for Mark Renton and his friends, even though I did not like them so much. Mark had a semi-permanent angry expression on his face but sometimes the knots fade and he has these moments of boyishness that make me feel drawn to him. Moreover, what these characters experience are real-life predicaments that do not get talked about enough. God knows I can relate to how resigned Mark is even though he knows some part of him still wants to change. God knows I can relate to Tommy knowing the truth about something and wanting to say it out loud just for the sake of doing so. I can even somehow relate to Spud in how he wants to remain loyal to his friends no matter how difficult they get.
All of these contribute to the film’s incredibly nuanced take on drug addiction, showing how destructive it is but also how hard it is to let go, especially if your reality is not that appealing without it. When joblessness, loneliness, and grief plague your everyday life, one is rightfully inclined to find some form of relief.
Unfortunately, this kind of temporary relief can have long-term consequences. Where are the long-term solutions? Do these characters have access to them? Is it entirely up to individual choice and determination? Perhaps not. What I appreciated about this film is how it treats the characters as flawed human beings, never neglecting the human aspect and always complemented with the fickleness of life. It depicts what makes these characters feel and what makes them motivated, and it is from acting on these motivations that the characters either live miserably or comfortably, though not always in a predictable way. Quitting heroin is not a guaranteed way of making your life better. Helping a friend out might make you feel worse about yourself. Ultimately, we still have to live with our choices, be they mundane and stable or the complete opposite.


